“Eros love is love that reaches upwards. It is love for what we need to fill our emptiness, love for what is lovely and lovable…William Blake engraved the picture of a tiny human figure with a ladder pitched toward the moon and underneath, in block capitals, the words I WANT! I WANT! Those are the words that eros always speaks. Not so with agape. Agape does not want. It gives. It is not empty. It is not full to overflowing. Paul strains to get the distinction right. Agape is patient; eros champs at the bit. Agape puts up with anything; eros insists on having things its own way. Agape is kind – never jealous, boastful, rude. It does not love because but simply loves – the way the rain falls or the sun shines. It “bears all things,” up to and including even its own crucifixtion. And it has extraordinary power.
“…Beauty does no love the Beast because he is beautiful but makes him beautiful by loving him.”
– The Clown in the Belfry (1992)
This is a passage that I’ve never been able to live up to. Only on rare, passing moments have I been able to think about giving this kind of love. No matter how much I know and believe that agape is what I need to do, I always feel entitled to eros. I will give agape if I get my eros needs met first.
It is a great fear of mine that I may never get this right. Like trying to sprint at the end of a long run, I can keep it up only for a very short time before I ease back into my normal eros stride.
May God help me.